


Punk'd

by Lanii



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-04-01
Packaged: 2018-03-20 20:00:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3663078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lanii/pseuds/Lanii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>COME 2 THE BIG DONUT IN  20 MINS IF U WANT AN ASSKICKIGN</p>
            </blockquote>





	Punk'd

**Author's Note:**

> AU where gems and humans co-exist peacefully but old rivalries don't go down without a fight.

Peridot knew better than to interrupt Jasper's exercise time.  After all, it only took one custom made 1500lb dumbbell thrown at the head and narrowly miss with Nicki Minaj playing in the background in order to teach the lesson.

But she was sure Jasper would forgive the disturbance this time. Maybe even thank her for bringing the news. Or at least, glare approvingly before throwing her out.

"Ingrate." Peridot muttered under her breath as she pushed the door to their home gym open.

"Hey cheeto puff, you're gonna wanna see this!" She called as she ducked.  The dumbbell flew over her crouched body and crashed into the wall opposite the door. Picking herself up and dusting herself off, Peridot's fingers detached and formed her holographic touchscreen, with which she contacted a repair company and sent the charge to Jasper's account.  Thinking momentarily, she added in a cost for emotional distress as well.  Jasper wouldn't notice. Numbers weren't her thing.

As usual, Peridot was mildly perturbed when she walked across the gym's expanse.  Mirrors.  Mirrors everywhere.  Jasper was the type of weirdo who liked to watch endless reflections of herself flex.

Speaking of Chester Cheetah, the large gem had seen Peridot enter despite the 2500lb warning thrown her way, and put down her dumbbell, pulling an earbud out to hear Peridot's excuse.  Jasper's expression warned her she only had moments to explain. 

Thankfully, she needed but a second.  Her fingers detached and she brought up what was so important on her screen. 

"Is that...?" Jasper asked, squinting and peering at the screen.  Peridot was guilty of purposely making the text too small for her to read.  Life's simple pleasures were the best after all.

"Yup."

"Make the text bigger guacamole breath, I can't read it."

The most beautiful moments in life were often the shortest.  Peridot sighed and resized the text so Jasper could read. After a few moments of silence, Jasper grinned wickedly.

"That runt is going down."

Off she ran, shaking the floor with her footsteps.  Peridot rolled her eyes, and went back to her quarters to resume crushing pathetic hopes and dreams on Call of Duty.

 

***

 

Jasper spotted Amethyst loitering just outside the Big Donut's entrance, biting into a custard bismark.  She walked towards the runt with a superior air and a smug smirk on her face.  Amethyst looked up, undisturbed by the large shadown that fell over her, custard dribbling down her chin.

"Look at you.  You're a disgrace." Jasper snarled.  "Do you think anyone will take your claims of an asskicking seriously?"

Amethyst smiled widely, showing off the chocolate frosting stuck on her teeth. "Apparently you did."

"What? No! I came here to teach you a lesson about getting over confident, pipsqueak!"

Amethyst quickly finished her donut and pushed off the wall, a gleam in her eye.

"You wanna go?" She asked, bring her fists up.

"Yeah!" Jasper snapped, crossing her arms.

"You wanna go?!" The purple gem began hopping on the balls of her feet, getting pumped.

"Yeah!" Jasper leaned down, pressing her forehead against Amethyst, locking gazes.

"YOU WANNA GO?" Amethyst shifted into her Purple Puma persona, and the two began an animalistic show of dominance based on who could push the other farther with her head alone.

"YEAH!" Jasper yelled, losing her patience and hoisting Amethyst up by her leotard straps.

"OUT ON A DATE WITH ME?" She bellowed.

"YE-Wait, what."

"Do you wanna go out on a date with me?" Amethyst resumed her usual form, grinning idiotically. "April Fool's!"

Jasper stared, utterly dumbfounded. The runt had guts.  

She could respect that.  

"Fine. Not like I got anything better to do." She muttered under her breath, releasing the smaller gem.

"Aw sweet! I had this whole thing planned out that Steven helped me with, buuuuuut I ditched it because being spontaneous is so much more fun!"  Amethyst grabbed Jasper's hand and began dragging her towards the arcade. "First things first, Imma show you how to cheat at every game in there! Then we can go see that new movie, maybe ride a couple rides and watch the sunset at the beach!"

Jasper had kind of tuned out, but Amethyst was so excited she sighed and allowed herself to be dragged alongside her.

Who knows? It might be fun.

**Author's Note:**

> APRIL FOOLS! :D would you like to see a sequel with the date because im up for writing it if you guys are up for reading it


End file.
